The Ivy

I was at the Ivy with a group of producers. I was waiting to get a table and this blonde girl kept bumping into me. I mean damn how hard is it to see a man whos 6'8" tall? She apologized and kept looking at me smiling then I sat down and started talking to the producers. I looked up and she was standing there with her old fat husband and she was pointing at me. I looked again and they were standing in front of me and her husband goes Hey you. I said who me? he said yeah, did you touch my wifes ass? I said hell no but she kept bumping into me trying rub up against me and shit. He looked at her and said Is that true? She goes Yes but I thought he was you. I said Bitch Im 6'8" tall and 265lbs so how the hell could you possibly think I was your 5'6" 350lbs husband? She goes I dont know I thought he was behind me when I walked up to get in line for a table. He goes You knew I wasnt behind you because I we smoking a cigar and I had to park the car because Im not letting any of these led foot bastards park it. Anyway , Long story short she got caught in a lie.

Pitch meeting

I had a pitch meeting with 2 producers in santa monica. The woman kept talking about her black boyfriend . Shes white so Im guessing she thinks shes cool because she has a black boyfriend whos in a band. Ive been with alot of black women but I dont go around to other white people like Hey guess what? I fucked a black girl ,isnt that cool? because I know most white people think you're only supposed to be with people in your own race but most white people also like fucking people with their own lastname. Anyway, The whole time I was talking to these 2 idiots the woman was talking like she thought I was supposed to tell her how cool she is . Its too bad shes the only person who thinks shes cool. I mean she was wearing white see thru pants and granny panties for christsake. I would have thought she was kinda cool if she had shut up and let me talk instead rambling on about her boyfriend the whole time. By the way, the man was on the old Miami Vice tv show. I thought it was kinda sad that he still has the same stupid haircut from back then.

My stories

I will be posting stories about my reallife experiences in LA.